About us
The Story
Welcome to "Not a Landscaping Co." – where we take lawn care seriously, just not ourselves. No magical unicorns, just a sarcastic, blunt, and honest crew that'll make your property stand out without the fluff. Practical, stylish, and witty – that's how we roll. Join us and let's transform your space with a touch of dry humor.
Services
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Mulching: We'll spread mulch around your precious plants, not to cast magical spells, but to keep the soil happy and hydrated. As we all know, plants can be quite demanding.
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Gravel: Forget the yellow brick road; we'll lay down gravel pathways that'll make your garden the envy of the neighborhood. No lions, tigers, or bears - just a sleek, stylish touch.
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Hedge Trimming: We'll expertly shape those unruly hedges into submission. Think of us as the hairdressers for your greenery, but with more hedge clippers and less gossip.
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Grass Cutting: You know what they say - a well-cut lawn is a thing of beauty, and we're all about creating some mow-tivation for your grass. We'll have your lawn looking sharp and pristine, just like our wit.